One punch- and another, then wham- here's another. Do you have days or weeks like that too? When you feel your soul can not take another blow- another problem, another conflict, not an ounce left in you for any hardship.
That's exactly how I felt last week- what changing medicine? What is that going to do?
Then WHAM!
In the mail is the specialist report- WHAM! Metabolic disorder WHAM! Genetic Disorder WHAM! WHAM ! The thud that goes into your guts & heart when you get unexpected bad medical reports.
This may be a medical report or illness but for you the stress of a big bill, the pain of broken relationship, the hurt of conflict but I'm sure you know exactly how I felt when I opened the letter. Thud, WHAM. When your head and heart start spinning-
No!
What does this mean?
And even harder -Why?
Then the tears- the waves of sobs that come from the depths of the mumma heart that wants different things for your toddler, for no more pain and no sickness.
I didn't see this coming- but God did- He knew.
I don't know what this means for the future- He does. (Jeremiah 29.11)
I am filled with fear and anxiety- He has invited me to give the worry to Him (psalm 55.22) and He will get me through.
The hardest and most overwhelming times are when my faith is tested, refined and deepened. I have a mumma's heart and it feels like it is going to break, I have a Saviour and He says He has us in the palm of His mighty hand.
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Still on hold??
I am so challenged by what I read this am over in "the Quiet Corner" & I'm glad I have the whole day (including many hours in the car) to think on it. Seemingly simple enough but in practice God is going to have to do a mighty work!!!
"Respond out of mind set rather than mood." (Col. 3:2)
"When we trust our lives to the hand and pen of an unseen but ever present God, He will write our lives into His story and every last one of them will turn out to be a great read. With a grand ending. And not just in spite of catastrophes. Often because of them. Don't just wait and see. Live and see." this is a quote from Beth Moore's study on Esther and is good words for me as we face more medical appointments.
My life & our family life is for living & rejoicing-always despite circumstances- God doesn't want to put us on "hold" til life settles down but He wants us to live in His peace & grace during these tough times.
I know He gives me strength- mine ran out months ago.
((hugs))
"Respond out of mind set rather than mood." (Col. 3:2)
"When we trust our lives to the hand and pen of an unseen but ever present God, He will write our lives into His story and every last one of them will turn out to be a great read. With a grand ending. And not just in spite of catastrophes. Often because of them. Don't just wait and see. Live and see." this is a quote from Beth Moore's study on Esther and is good words for me as we face more medical appointments.
My life & our family life is for living & rejoicing-always despite circumstances- God doesn't want to put us on "hold" til life settles down but He wants us to live in His peace & grace during these tough times.
I know He gives me strength- mine ran out months ago.
((hugs))
Monday, May 17, 2010
Managing Monday- Am I managing?
Today is very quiet at home.
My DH went back to work after being off for the last 4 months. We have had a season as a family of health crisises. Firstly it was DH that was ill, then our toddler contracted encephalitis after an ear infection and was hospitalised for a month and the family was on full stress mode.
As a mum I have been doing, doing, doing- planning & working to create a stable, peaceful home. I have been running on empty emotionally and my time with God has suffered. I have spent time reading in The Word, but most of my prayer times have been in the "desparate plea" category.
Last week this stress caught up with me.
I was sitting with my teen helping her prepare for her NAPLAN tests which grade her reading & writing & numeracy for her age and compare it nationally.
I felt an odd sensation in my head and I lost a part of my vision in my eye. I had a mini stroke.
I went to the hospital and this week has been one big blur surrounded by very worried faces. The Dr has started some medicine to keep my Blood pressure down and has said that it has ben a timely warning that I need to take better care of my family by taking better care of me.
This has forced me to have a long hard look at what I do and why I do it. What is necessary in my day and what just isnt. What things do I consider important and a "must have" in my day and funnily enough - those things are usually the things that I have been foregoing in order to keep on top of everything else- like my time with God, my Family First Four,(the first things I say to each person each day is a greeting not an instruction and endeavouring to keep a mental tally of 4 specific times that I tell each one "I love you" each day)I want to change my focus from tasks back to the people that I am striving to make this home a place of security and peace.
What do you give your energy to, is it wearing you out? is it important to you or to your family? What is necessary? What are your goals for your family as a mum?
This week is a time of change for me - a time of back to basics:
* Spending time reading & praying as a priority- not an after-thought
* Remembering my "Family First Four"
* taking time to love & play!
have a wonderful week,( and maybe a good nap or 2!!)
((Hugs)
My DH went back to work after being off for the last 4 months. We have had a season as a family of health crisises. Firstly it was DH that was ill, then our toddler contracted encephalitis after an ear infection and was hospitalised for a month and the family was on full stress mode.
As a mum I have been doing, doing, doing- planning & working to create a stable, peaceful home. I have been running on empty emotionally and my time with God has suffered. I have spent time reading in The Word, but most of my prayer times have been in the "desparate plea" category.
Last week this stress caught up with me.
I was sitting with my teen helping her prepare for her NAPLAN tests which grade her reading & writing & numeracy for her age and compare it nationally.
I felt an odd sensation in my head and I lost a part of my vision in my eye. I had a mini stroke.
I went to the hospital and this week has been one big blur surrounded by very worried faces. The Dr has started some medicine to keep my Blood pressure down and has said that it has ben a timely warning that I need to take better care of my family by taking better care of me.
This has forced me to have a long hard look at what I do and why I do it. What is necessary in my day and what just isnt. What things do I consider important and a "must have" in my day and funnily enough - those things are usually the things that I have been foregoing in order to keep on top of everything else- like my time with God, my Family First Four,(the first things I say to each person each day is a greeting not an instruction and endeavouring to keep a mental tally of 4 specific times that I tell each one "I love you" each day)I want to change my focus from tasks back to the people that I am striving to make this home a place of security and peace.
What do you give your energy to, is it wearing you out? is it important to you or to your family? What is necessary? What are your goals for your family as a mum?
This week is a time of change for me - a time of back to basics:
* Spending time reading & praying as a priority- not an after-thought
* Remembering my "Family First Four"
* taking time to love & play!
have a wonderful week,( and maybe a good nap or 2!!)
((Hugs)
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