In a recent email a Mum asked for actual strategies as she feels she does 90% of the chores in the house and the school concerns & her DH is doing less.
Do you struggle with this???
Reading through an email from another struggling mum with small kiddies I realised the words I replied were much more for me than her. God gave me words then gently said now go stand in front of the mirror there is a mumma who needs to hear this in there!
I'm giving myself permission to
1. Accept help & imperfection- even a 3yo can make their bed- don't straighten it after them either- as a friend once said, someday you will miss those crinkles,
2: don't iron (except business shirts!) not EVERYTHING has to be perfect- 50% of our to do list is minor & realistically not essential
3: ask specifically for the help you want / need- get a cleaner, ask girlfriends, pay a trusted teen, better still ask hubby: ( be real specific !!) "please make 5 vegemite sandwiches & 5 drink bottles" again don't sweat the small minor but annoying stuff- who cares if its not cut or wrapped perfect- the lunches are made and the jobs off your list!! ... & remember a thank u..... (Yep I know I don't get a thank you for making lunches ...ever.... but hey you would thank the neighbour for throwing together a sambo, snack & a bottle for your kids if you were running late- so extend your hubby the same & throw a thank you out to him- they are free but worth a lot!!)
4: life, marriage & family is about relationship- love your hubby & your kids- let go of the chores balance act- you do more, a wife & mumma always will- we are wired that way. Don't let yourself get into resentment about it - stop doing non essentials, so that you can have time to enjoy the husband & kids you are working so hard for & don't let "you" get stolen by doing- in 20 years they won't remember chores as much as they will remember laughter & time with mumma. Give yourself permission to ease up & not be super mum- we all need to give ourself this- me too!!
Also Grab a copy of "Five love languages"- chances are you feel loved by works/acts of service : guaranteed your hubby has a completely different "language" he isn't being lazy or hateful or manipulating he just gives & receives love completely differently & probably is completely clueless as to why it bothers you so!!!
Fight for your marriage, you need it, your kiddos need it, don't be tricked into throwing it away over vacuuming and packing lunches.
I hope when you & I look in the mirror you will tell the Lady you see in there to be kind to herself.
Blessings xx
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