Thursday, October 15, 2015

Thursday- Thankful Thursday

Thursday- thankful Thursday
This is my tradition and this is what I am today- Thankful.

It has been a tough week for my big girl to start her final high school leaving exams (HSC) as My baby girl had her LP and has had quite significant complications (she developed a blood clot on her spine & couldn't walk & was in extreme pain requiring almost a week of opiate analgesia)  

My mummy heart went from worry to terror in a few hours and now I am taking time to breathe -& be thankful.

My mind ran away with me last night and it took me to the scary parts of my mummy brain that looks forward and worries- you know that part of the mummy brain that goes "what if" and oh my could I think of some ultimately terrifying "what ifs"!  But then I actively had to take those thoughts and STOP!- stop the runaway train of fear and bring it back to now- right now! ... and I struggled so hard to know how to do that- I looked about and started at the simple- the thankful.

It hurt.

It Hurt because each "thank you" also had a "please", It was like the waves on the beach and so I paddled on. Allowing the waves of please and thanks to wash on and soon I was able to lay down  a small bit of the burden that has been busy on my brain since the surgery and the fear began.

Ultimately it was good -out of my sad, scary and dark reality came something good- & for that I am thankful.

I have another please and thank you to add to Thursday- thank you for visiting here today & please feel free to comment or message me if you are struggling and need a buddy if you are doing it tough- we can paddle together xx

Monday, October 5, 2015

The journey continues- one tiny step at a time

My lil girl is now 8, she survived encephalitis at 3 yo and since has really struggled.
Despite many beautiful patient wonderful people who have come to help her over these last few years in the last year she lost so many milestones.

Recently she has gone back in an alarming rate and the Drs have scheduled her for an emergency MRI/EEG &bloods this coming Thursday 

My mumma heart is aching, the drs suspect something autoimmune ( her own body attacking her) & will do tests that the Drs need to find it. It could also be infection - the encephalitis holding on and  if infection is hiding and continuing to damage her lil brain then also the Drs need a different plan. 

Over the last year my sweet child has been hurting and slipping away. I am sad and scared. I need your prayers, my lil girl needs your prayers. 

There IS a bigger plan than what my eyes and circumstances see.